Friday, September 08, 2006

Super Obnoxious Nutty Yaks?

Okay, no doubt. I wrote some blogs, but I think I'm gonna come back and post those later.

The issue at hand now is Ridge Racer! Riiiiiddgee Racerr - as Kaz Hirai put it at e3 2006. No, no the issue is not that. The issue here is the "PSP is the walkman of the 21st century" as Ken Kutaragi put it. No, I'm terribly sorry, that's not the issue at hand either. The issue at hand is the Blu-Ray diode, no that's not what I really care about. I do feel sorry for the Euro folks, because Sony just royally fucked you guys over. Oh and also you "other" PAL area dudes....

I'm not a fan of the PS2 or the PS3 or for the matter anything PlayStation. I also hate Xbox and Xbox 360, so who's left for me? Well, I hate PC games and I hate Nintendo's shitty GameCube and it's shitty name for it's next console. Note that the Wii name sucks ass but the machine is better. Whatever, I'm gonna keep calling it "Revolution" and when I do get one, I will cross off Wii on the remote and the console and replace it with REV written with a permanent Sharpie marker.

Aside from the delay of the PS3 to March 2007 in Europe, what about the shortages? 400,000 units for America and 100,000 for Japan. Fuck you Sony. Not that I would ever buy a PS3, but I always knew you were all bullshit. Nothing but hot air
to hype everyone up.

The PS3 has been stripped and stripped and now it's almost a piece of nothing. I'm 95% sure that the 500,000 units that actually ship, there will be tons of defective Blu-Ray drives. Why? The shortage of BR diodes and the fact that Sony doesn't
know what the fuck they're doing this time around. And who wants to play with a controller without rumble anyways? "Move the controller to pilot a plane" Why the fuck would I wanna do that when I can just move the analog stick? Retards.

Sony announced that HDMI cables (in order for TRUE HD to be viewed) would not be packed in with the PS3. Well, fuck you again Sony. That's just stupid. Then what's the point of telling everyone that 1080p (highest HD resolution) will be what
separates the PS3 from the 360 when a) most people don't own HDTVs that can output 1080p or even 1080i and b) most of your games are in 720p - the same as 360 games? True HD my ass. You're telling consumers that they are responsible for TRUE HD
when you've been feeding us all this crap about the PS3 ushering in TRUE HD. You fucktards.

The PS3 shape has always been ugly. I'll tell ya what Kutaragi, the PS3 definitely isn't the "most beautiful thing in the world" and I'll tell you another thing, the PSP, also not the most beautiful thing in the world. I know a few things that
could easily beat the PSP in looks. How about.....a sexy girl? Hmm? Never factored in the competition eh Kutaragi? Looks like you've lost your way my brotha, and I won't help you find the right one. Especially cause the right way is Nintendo who's
gonna kick everyone's ass this time around. The DS is beating the living shit outta the PSP in sales, and all the PSP can dish out is a crapass 1.3 megapixel camera? Dude, there are Sony Ericcson PHONES with higher megapixels than that piece of crap.
And that GPS unit? Who the fuck is really gonna buy that shit? Even if you could play Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops with it. Like I played Metal Gear Ac!d 2 with that dumb "vision eye"? Shit no.

Sony released a LocationFree TV tower thingymobob just a few days ago. Look at it. That is how the PS3 should have been designed to look like. Not that huge waffle iron. IT's reminscent of the PS2, but it has that nice "glossy" look to it and looks extremely sleek.

"This is Living" campaign that was advertised in Europe and hit YouTube shortly showed that Sony's marketing is clearly being run by monkeys. "This is Living?" That has got to be the worst slogan ever. Worse than "Jump In" for the 360. I'd give you more props even if you completely copied the 360's water balloon fight commercial and instead of saying xbox 360 on it, slapped on PS3.

Then we have the case of Sony and their retarded French PS2 ads. Dude, you can use sex, but a guy sniffing panties (which are supposed to represent "triangle, circle, x and square") was just retarded. As if that was the bad news. They also had this retarded ad with body parts sticking everywhere and nipples fleshed out. When did they let nipple shots out for ads? I'd understand if Sony was going to advertise for their new Porn cameras or something, but for the PS2? What the fuck do nipples have anything to do with the PS2?

The Pink PSP to be released in Europe. Dude, I don't think anyone wants to buy a PINK PSP. The idea of playing with a PSP with ongoing watchers on the train is viewed with the idea that the PSP is a snazzy high-tech device that plays games. The black and white models help promote this "gadget" like feel. Adding that ugly HOT Pink PSP model is a terrible idea. If you were going to make a pink, at least you could have made it in a shade that didn't let everyone know you were a big airhead a la Paris Hilton. See this Nintendo DS Lite's pink shade? It's soft and looks appealing. It doesn't hurt anyone's eyes from a mile away!!

What the PSP needs is some direction. Whoever is running the PlayStation HQs is running it into the ground. The PSP mic? That was a bust. You'd be stupid to pay $30 for the headset just for Socom. And the ONLINE wi-fi which they retardedly named "infrastructure mode" lacks major support from Sony and 3rd parties. When your biggest "hit" is LocoRoco, a game about a bunch of bouncing blobs, then I think we know who is "kiddy and doesn't have mature games".

One of my favorite complaints about the PSP is that it lacks great demos like the DS. Sony doesn't want to give you these goodies. UMDs also are too expensive. Look at what Warner Brothers did in Japan. They lowered UMD movie sales to about $8.50 USD and badaboom, UMD movie sales actually increased 10x (that's a real estimation not exaggeration). The PSP also has too many ports whether it's from PS2 to PSP or PSP to PSP like GTA: LCS. Sony isn't showing any love for the PSP and it's not giving incentive for any PSP owner to not sell their worthless system and buy a shiny white DS Lite. I don't even think that PS1 games that are scheduled to hit the PSP in November will save it. Do we really want to play 10 yr old games like Ridge Racer and Gran Turismo from the PS1 on our PSPs?

No one's buying any games for the PSP. Hell, I'm only buying the Greatest Hits games. Have another fuck you Sony.


Blogger darkmagic1an said...

a little heavy on the profanity huh sling? or have the current issues in the gaming world really fired you up?? lol

6:55 PM  
Blogger sling blade said...

Sony really disappointed me. They deserve the F bombs. LOL

8:10 PM  
Blogger Jeff's Page said...

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9:40 PM  
Blogger Trixie said...

Way to speak ur mind sling! And yeah, the PSP sucks monkey ass. I only got one because I won it for free and it's completly useless to me! I can't believe the Sony fucktards are making us pay $40 for a fucking PSP game!! Oh yeah, Sony is going downhill from here.


10:05 PM  
Blogger darkmagic1an said...

but then again, PSP does piss some ppl off immensly, except little migit kids you see running around comparing their black and white console versions. Also, WTF is wrong with that JAP asswipe!? Sniffin panties? HOW LOW CAN SONY GO!?

10:23 AM  
Blogger Techni said...

Um, Sony does offer PSP demos. You can download them from their website.

3:18 PM  

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